Hawthorn

The Hawthorn team of the late eighties, early nineties was extraordinary.  Jammed pack with players that not only had the skills to pay the bills, but looked like they could party harder than Charlie Sheen and still get up in the morning to wrestle a croc or go roo shooting.  In short, they were men.

How does the current team compare?  Luke Hodge is great and no one can deny that he's a hard nut. But he looks to me like the sort of guy who'd prefer a wheat-germ smoothie over a cleansing ale. Does that make him less of a man?  Sadly, yes.

And let's talk about Buddy. A man mountain with a great kick when he's got his eye in. But running to get your own ball?  That's not what forwards did.  My memory of JD is that he'd hold a defender back until the last minute, then punch him in the kidneys before diving for the mark. Just like a real man.  The closest Buddy gets to holding a defender is when he has a cuddle with Brent Guerra after scoring a goal.

Jarryd Roughead has a name that suggests he could mix it with the best of the old-school Hawks, not to mention having a face that looks like it was carved on Easter Island.  But this week he gave an interview about how he managed to play despite a Clarkson imposed mobile phone ban.  A phone ban?  Really?  Has Jarryd ever seen a re-run of the '89 grand final?  Dermot Brereton had his head knocked clean off before the first bounce and still managed to play out the game, while Dippa's heart actually exploded early in the first quarter and he never lost a beat.  Some reports say that half the team was declared clinically dead at half time before they bounced back in the last quarter. 

Feel like crying about your phone ban now, Jarryd?