The Carlton side of the 90s had some of the best nick-names in the business - Dog, Rhino, Diesel, Harry, Sticks, SOS, Rats and the Duke. It also appeared in three grand finals - 1993, 1995 and 1999. Coincidence? I think not.
Thanks to an astounding run of bad luck, the Blues have managed to secure a decade's worth of first round draft picks. They also picked up a Brownlow medallist using nothing more than pick 3 and a six figure salary for spruiking cardboard. And how many grannies has this team appeared in since the 90s? A big donut. And what sort of nick-names does this team have? Chris Judd is called Juddy, Marc Murphy is called Murph and poor Kade Simpson isn't really called anything. How do you win a flag like that?
What this Carlton side needs is some killer nick-names to spur them on to September action. Here are some suggestions:
- Chris Judd has a bald head and blistering speed: the Flying Franger
- Marc Murphy was drafted from Whitefriars College in Donvale: The Friar
- Brice Gibbs is not yet as big as Fraser Gehrig: The G-Tram
- Kade Simpson is a guy who also plays in Carlton's midfield: The Shadow
- Lachlan Henderson was traded for some other forward: The Hev
- Jarrad Waite spends one week in the side, 3 weeks out: The Tampon
- Andrew Walker was considered a rolled-gold investment that has produced little return: Telstra
- Brock McLean is apparently in the Carlton side but nobody has ever seen him: Snuffaluffagus- Jeff Garlett has trouble out-running old blokes: The Zimmer
Let the Gripper know if there are any he's missed . . .
Come on now, surely 'Carrots' Carazzo goes some small way to correcting the imbalance present and is at least deserving of a mention.
ReplyDeleteDespite the lack of decent nicknames being the popular scapegoat, I choose to believe that the problem lies more in not having anybody near as seedy looking as the likes of Peter Dean, Mil Hanna or Diesel running out onto the park these days.
"Hotlips" Houlihan also makes it onto the park occasionally and is a worthy mention.
ReplyDeleteDean Rice is another in the "seedy" category from the 1990s. Come on Blue Boys, get dirty!!