What world does the Adelaide Crows footy club live in? Because it's certainly not any world I've ever visited. The world I live in doesn't have guys called "Taylor". Maybe in Soap Opera World there are guys called Taylor, sharing studio space with Texas Rangers called Walker, but I'd have to walk a very long way to ever meet a real-life guy called Taylor Walker. But apparently they exist in Adelaide. The Adelaide footy club has even dared to put a Taylor Walker in its forward line. Unbelievable!
Jason is a good name. I went to school with a lot of Jasons. My pillow is a Jason. But Jason Porplyzia - now they're just making stuff up. It looks like a surname made from left over Scrabble pieces.
Bernie Vince sounds like a villain from a Guy Ritchie film - the sort of guy who would be employed as muscle for the retired porn king Graham Johncock. In the end of the movie they would both be nabbed by the masked hero, Patrick Dangerfield, while the real evil genius, Doctor Nathan van Berlo, escapes in a space ship piloted by Captain Kurt Tippett of Adelaide Space Command.
Only on planet Adelaide . . .
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