Collingwood

Succession plans are funny things.  The Murdoch family is one of the richest in Australia and control the world’s largest media empire.  They are no doubt very smart, well educated people.  They have no doubt turned their thinking prowess to the issue of a succession plan.  The result?  Every week a different Murdoch is appointed as the new heir to the throne, before a massive family bust up takes them back to square one. 

So if a family as rich and smart as the Murdoch clan can’t work out a succession plan, what hope for the Collingwood Football Club? A short history of Collingwood’s planning goes something like this:

• Eddie and Joffa meet for some drinks.  They both agree the Pies are great.  They really liked winning the Flag in 2010.
• After a couple more drinks they think it would be awesome if Bucks was coach and if Bucks coached the Pies to a Flag.  Eddie keeps poking Joffa in the ribs and saying “Just imagine it! Just imagine it!”
• To prove it’s not just the piss talking, Eddie sends Mick Malthouse a text at 4am saying “Need to chat tomorrow.  Got a great idea for the future.  Go Pies!!!”.  He then texts Bucks “Got a big surprise for you!!!”, which isn’t the first time he’s sent that text to Bucks.
• Slightly hung-over, the meeting with Malthouse doesn’t go exactly as Eddie had planned.  Suddenly saying, out loud, “Can you lead us to another Flag then step down as coach for Nathan” sounds a bit silly.  And by the look on Mick’s face Eddie knew he had to think fast to save the situation. 
• Using all his skills as a game-show host Eddie gets the meeting back on track by adding “And we’ll make you Director of Coaching for 3 years” and then, under his breath, “whatever the f@#$ that means”.  Keen to end the meeting and get back to reading his book of Buddhist quotes, Mick says OK.
• After losing the 2011 grand final, Malthouse thinks, not unreasonably, “do I really want to hang around here for 3 years with Eddie?”.  He resigns as Director of Coaching (whatever the f@#$ that is) the next day.

So it is that the Pies enter 2012 without their coach of the last 200 years, headed instead by a coach with as much coaching experience as Joffa.  But, as Eddie may well have said when he accepted the Chanel 9 CEO gig, who needs experience when you’ve got money?  And to keep Nathan company the Pies hired a coaching panel that looks like the starting line up for the EJ Whitten Legends Game.  The result?  Too early to call at this stage, but 4 wins for 2 losses is not a bad result.  If Bucks keeps this up he might be nearly as successful as Eddie was as CEO of 9.

Nathan Buckley	Senior Coach
Rodney Eade	Football and Coaching Strategist
Matthew Lappin	Assistant Coach - Forwards
Robert Harvey	Assistant Coach - Midfield
Ben Hart	Assistant Coach - Backline
Tarkyn Lockyer	VFL Coach
Craig McRae	Development Manager
Mitch Hahn	Development Coach - Forwards
Dale Tapping	Development Coach - Midfield
Anthony Rocca	Development Coach - Backline
John Barnes	Ruck Coach